Escape from Ted's Montana Grill Sanford Stadium

Whew.

About halfway through the second quarter, all my ideas for today's blog went out the window. It no longer made sense to tell the fib that Ted Turner had opened a new Ted's Montana Grill in Athens, seating 92,734. No Filet Ralphieon medium rare to go with the sack of Idaho potatoes coach Dan Hawkins brought from Boise last year to Sanford. No cracks about Colorado finally having a male placekicker and a female mascot, not vice versa. And certainly no mention of how Colorado got beat by a I-AA team that then lost to a Division II team, the equivalent of us losing to Ga Southern and then having GSU lose to Albany State. Totally out-of-line to talk about that after wiggling out of this one.

On top of that, we'll probably never hear Munson's 2006 Colorado call added to the highlights we play during tailgates in the years to come (Prediction: By then, playing of Munson calls will be deemed "inappropriate for the family tailgating experience" by the administration). To make matters worse, when we scored the winning TD, I got in trouble for my behavior. No, this was not a repeat of the 2001 Auburn tantrum*. Nor did I use any four-letter words in front of my three-year-old daughter (aka Lite Afternoon Snack). My offense was worse than the sprint draw on 4th and 3. I yelled so loud that I might have woken LAS up from her nap. Thankfully, she's a sound sleeper. (A quick aside: LAS knows to say the pledge to the American flag and "Goooooo Dawgs, Sic 'em" to the Bulldog flags she sees in the neighbors' yards. So cute.)

It was eerie how most of this game felt like the Sugar Bowl against Greased Lightning West Virginia. It was like going to Outback (hope I'm not foreshadowing anything) Steakhouse, having slow service, cold food, flat beer and waitstaff that keeps dropping the bread on the floor. But then...right when the experience has gone as badly as possible, the manager shows up and comps your meal, even giving you a gift certificate for a Bloomin' Onion next time you come.
You thank the manager for salvaging the dinner and agree with him that you hope the next time will be better. You hope the food comes out well-prepared, hot, and not in need of a good zapping halfway through the meal. If they have to, they'll put some stick-um on the servers' hands so they won't dump the tea in your lap. You smile and let the manager know you're coming back soon, in two weeks to be exact, and you are bringing a big-time business client in for dinner. Your year is dependent on this meeting going well, and you hope everything will be ready to go. Because your client is going to eat a lot...and he is hungry. (click for client's resume')

*Don't ask. I am lucky my wife (aka Sensible Dinner) agreed to continue our engagement.