High Times at Vandy

At first, I was looking forward to ribbing Vandy a little bit when I heard the VU president's wife was firing up fatties in their on-campus residence. But after a little research, I learned she does it to alleviate nausea from an inner-ear disorder.

I can't think of anything more miserable than feeling nauseous and not being able to do anything about it. That being said, without getting into the legalities of medicinal marijuana use, I hope she gets well and no longer suffers from that miserable condition.

Speaking of being nauseous, I just thought about the 1994 homecoming game we had with Vandy. I had a date to that game that put on a clinic of How Not To Behave. We sat with her grandparents during the second half, on the 50 about 5 rows behind the Georgia bench. We were losing control of the game (one wild rumor had it that the team was protesting the Homecoming queen selection), and she let the bench (and everyone in our section) know that it was happening against Vanderbilt. ("@#$#%@# VANDERBILT!" she said. "Oh, wow," I thought, "time to go!" I led her up the stairs and I looked to my right.

Now, think of a person from your hometown that you would not want to see while the drunkest, angriest and loudest Georgia co-ed since Grizzard's third ex is hanging on your arm. That's right: I looked into the eyes of my church's senior minister, sitting four rows back, the one who never called me anything but my full name. My "in-trouble" name. And that's all he said to me in my sorry situation. I turned as red as my shirt and introduced my date to his wife, who came bounding down the steps to hug my neck. "Oh, you are a sweetie!" she said to my semi-conscious date, pretending that none of the 89,000 or so in the stadium were one liquor drink away from my date's condition.

Thankfully, the church's motto is: "Forgiveness is our business."

Go Dawgs. Beat Vandy like they owe us money.